Long distance relationships can be tough, I am currently in a relationship where we do long distance most of the year. All in all I am in a pretty healthy and happy relationship but that doesn’t mean we don’t have our moments.
Every relationship goes through trial and tribulation and when the main source of communication is through phone calls and video chats, those tough times can seem impossible to get through.
I like to think that with those harder times, comes even better moments and understanding when we are together.
My significant other and I have found ways to make the distance more bearable, here are 10 Tips to Make Long Distance Relationships Work…
#1 Communicate your feelings
If you communicate your feelings with your partner from the start, it will be easier to communicate when you’re going through a hard time. It is important to remember you are both human and your feelings are valid, so are your partners.
#2 You don’t have to talk 24/7
This is something my boyfriend taught me throughout our relationship, I always thought you had to speak or text or be in constant contact with one another. This is not true for everyone, my boyfriend prefers his space and likes to focus on his work while he’s away at school. Don’t get me wrong we talk while we are apart, but there have been days where we have barely spoken. Just because we don’t relay our every move to each other doesn’t mean we love each other any less. This idea took me some time to understand, but now that its the norm for us, I don’t mind it. Not speaking 24/7 makes me cherish the times we do talk, and we never run out of things to say.
#3 Have an end date
One thing that keeps me going through the distance is always knowing when I will see him next. I highly recommend sitting down and planning out visits and eventually a permanent end date. For us, we schedule out our visits until Christmas break. I visit him every other weekend and then he comes home for thanksgiving and Christmas break. We grew up int he same town and live down the street from each other, he attends college about 5 hours away, so I made the drive every other weekend in September and October. I know that some people don’t have the ability to see each other as often, you can still plan out visits, I suggest planning out about three months in advance so you have something to look forward to. I know that my boyfriend graduates next fall so thats when our long distance will permanently end.
#4 Respect each other
This may be the most important key to getting through a long distance relationship, respecting each other and their feelings. Of course respect in a relationship is a given, but I am talking about respecting each other when it comes to other people. I have talked to a few of my friends and some of them don’t see the importance of this one, but a lot of people wont until they are put in this position. For example, I like to let my boyfriend know when I am hanging out with someone if I am unsure he will be comfortable with it, say its a guy friend he isn’t familiar with. Now those people may take a bit of offense and feel like this is a controlling trait, but I like to put myself in my boyfriends position, if he told me he was going to hang out with a girl I didn’t know, I would trust him but I also wouldn’t feel too great about it. Just try to respect each others feelings as much as you can, without being controlling.
#5 Have patience
I know the distance and time apart can be frustrating but you have to be patient. Sometimes when the distance gets to me i make up scenarios in my head and talk myself into thinking things wont work. Basically I just make myself sad, for no reason. You have to be patient and understand that the distance doesn’t mean there is any lack of love, I have to remind myself of this constantly but it pays off in the end.
#6 Plan dates in advance
I love planning future dates in advance, sometimes its when I visit him and sometimes its when he comes home. I always try to have something fun planned, that can be going out with friends, on a romantic date, or even just cuddling up and watching a movie. This gives me something to look forward to when we are together.
#7 Find yourself
The distance is an opportunity to discover different parts of yourself that you cant always learn when you’re in a relationship. I have learned a lot about myself while my boyfriend has been away. Most of my friends are also away at school so I have a lot of time to myself, I have found new hobbies and things I love to do on my own. I am in my twenties and this is such a pivotal time in life that a lot of people underestimate. If I know myself, I’ll know who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
#8 Spend time with friends
Take this time to spend time with the friends we sometimes neglect when we are in a relationship, this time apart is a great way to learn more about yourself but also your friends.
#9 Share a Common Interest
Something we do, even with the distance, is plan out little Skype dates where we watch a series or movie together. This is something we try to keep up with but of course theres always exceptions, like right now my boyfriend is studying for exams, so theres very limited contact currently, but I can always call him if I need him.
#10 Be honest and stop expecting too much
Be honest when you’re upset, or happy, or just frustrated. Let your partner know how you’re feeling at all times and be honest when something bothers you. You also have to understand that some of those expectations you might have, are probably unrealistic. I know for the first few months of distance, I had expectations for things that never played out how I wanted them, this doesn’t mean that what actually happened was bad, so far everything has been pretty bearable, but I hold high expectations for everything and have learned to let some of those go in order to be happy.
At the end of the day, if its meant to work out it will, you just have to have faith and trust in each other. Always let your partner know how important they are to you and you can get through anything.
10 Tips to Make Long Distance Relationships Work 10 Tips to Make Long Distance Relationships Work 10 Tips to Make Long Distance Relationships Work 10 Tips to Make Long Distance Relationships Work 10 Tips to Make Long Distance Relationships Work10 Tips to Make Long Distance Relationships Work