Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, basically any dating app you can think of, have at least one thing in common…they all have pretty bad reputations when it comes to success stories. The more young adults are getting into dating apps, the less serious they are being taken. I know a few people who have admitted to using them solely to boost their ego, not to actually meet someone.
About a year ago I was on all three of the dating apps mentioned above, I had gone on countless dates (story time to come!) and after a ton of failed attempts at love, came to a pretty reasonable conclusion about each one.
Most of the people I met on Tinder were really only on the app for hook ups and ego boosts, sometimes it was just to judge the people they swiped through…ew. All you really had to go off was someones picture and their bio but 9/10 times you swiped right or left before even reading the bio and normally it was some sort of joke anyway.
Bumble was in between hook up and looking for a relationship, from being on Bumble for about a year, most people I met weren’t really sure what they were looking for, I personally didn’t meet many people from this app. I always frogot to check consistently and since I only had a 24 hour window to respond to a guy, it wasnt very practical for me.
I found Hinge to be the best of both world (Tinder and Bumble) I got to see someones photo while facts about them were mixed in throughout. Not only did I learn about the person besides their looks, the questions and answers on the profiles gave me something to spark a conversation with the potential match. I also noticed most of the people I matched with were looking to get to know me more seriously than the other apps.
Of course, I may be partial to a specific dating app because (drum roll please) …
I met my boyfriend on it!
If you haven’t guess which one I will give you a hint, its slogan is “Designed to be deleted”
Yep, its Hinge. This is not sponsored (although I wish it was) but out of all the dating apps I have tried, hinge is the only one that made me feel like an actual person.
Whenever I was single I always had dating apps but most of them made me feel kind of dirty, judging people based solely on their appearance and knowing that most of the time a date was just a classy way of saying one night stand. I learned this the hard way.
There is no feeling like when you first match with someone and everything just flows, you plan a date and get really excited, for the guy to get there and expect you to let him hit it…it sucks.
Not to mention the safety concerns with meeting up with a stranger.
I had my heart broken quite a few times before I even downloaded hinge. I had heard so much about it and decided to give it a try. Immediately I felt better about matching with these men because it wasn’t just about their appearance, I got to see what they liked to do or see how they answered some of the more philosophical questions. Some of the profiles even had a taste of humor and made me laugh while learning about them.
By the time I had downloaded Hinge, I didn’t have very high hopes, I also wasn’t really looking for a relationship like I was on Tinder and Bumble.
That is until, one man responded to a fun fact I wrote on my profile about how I can tie a cherry stem in my mouth. He made an innocent joke about it and we started talking…just a few minutes into the conversation we learned that we actually knew each other! We actually grew up going to the same school, in the same grade, with a lot of the same friends. The funny part is, I changed a ton since middle school and he grew a beard so we didn’t realize this until talking about where we grew up!
I couldn’t have asked for a better success story from a dating app, maybe thats because its mine…but I cannot deny that dating apps worked for me!
Heres a few tips on how to make them work for you!
- Be Yourself – Image and personality wise. Cat fishing is not okay, and sometimes we do it without realizing. Put your best foot forward but don’t completely alter your appearance because thats what you think the people swiping would like. I can guarantee is someone swipes right on a picture that doesn’t look like you in person, then if you do hang out, they wont be too happy. Same goes for your personality, people can sense someone being fake a mile away and its not cute. The best version of you is the real one!
- Don’t be too quick to judge. Just because the person doesn’t look like a model or something, doesn’t mean they aren’t a great person. You cant help who you are attracted to but when it comes to meeting and falling for people in real life, its way more than looks that come into play.
- Accept rejection. Not everyone is going to like you and that is okay. The best way to deal with this is to accept that some people have different opinions and it is not because you did anything wrong, you are still beautiful.
- Be okay either way. You don’t need a relationship in order to be happy, don’t let yourself get into the mindset that you are desperate for a relationship. When your become content with yourself, thats when you are truthfully ready to bring someone else into your life.
- Be safe! Of course this goes without saying but I wanted to add it in here just in case. Before every date I made sure to Facetime, get their full name, and tell someone close to me where i would be at what time and with who. I made sure my location was on for a loved one and that the date was in a public place that I was familiar with. I never give out any personal information before meeting them or on the first few dates. Keep it casual and always have a back up plan and way to protect yourself just in case!
Lastly, have fun! Enjoy this time in your life, don’t let the judgement of others make you feel any different. Theres something to say about meeting new people and finding yourself in the process, after the countless failed dates I went on, I was picky and knew exactly what I was looking for in a partner and guess what? Because of this I found my soul mate!